How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

How often do you think about how to stop being a people pleaser? Or maybe you’ve never even contemplated whether you are a people please or not. I was listening to the Mel Robbins podcast on this topic the other day and wanted to share some of my a-ha’s with you because life as a dedicated mother is a fulfilling journey, but comes with the challenge of balancing family needs and personal well-being. You want so much for your family you often take care of them at the expense of your own well-being.

Today, let’s delve deeper into the world of people-pleasing, exploring its impact on your health, relationships, and uncovering strategies to reclaim your authentic self.

Am I a People Pleaser?

Before we dive into the specifics, take a reflective moment to ask: “Am I a people pleaser?” This question holds particular relevance for moms who prioritize their family’s needs. Let’s explore common scenarios:

1. Overcommitting: Do you often find yourself saying yes to every request, even at the expense of your time and energy?
2. Avoiding Conflict: Are you hesitant to express your opinions or set boundaries to sidestep conflicts, even if it means suppressing your true feelings?
3. Neglecting Self-Care: When was the last time you prioritized self-care? People-pleasers frequently prioritize others, unintentionally neglecting their own well-being.

The health impact of people pleasing

As you navigate the demands of motherhood, the subtle strain of people-pleasing can have tangible health consequences. Dr. Neha Sangwan highlights that chronic people-pleasing can contribute to heightened stress levels, potentially leading to physical manifestations such as headaches, fatigue, and even compromised immune function. Moms, your well-being is the cornerstone of a healthy family – it’s time to prioritize it.

Relationship impacts of people pleasing

Now, let’s explore how people-pleasing behaviors can impact your relationships:

1. Resentment Buildup: Constantly putting others’ needs ahead of your own can breed resentment over time. Unexpressed feelings of frustration may strain relationships with your partner, children, and even friends.
2. Communication Challenges: Hesitancy to express your needs can lead to miscommunication. Honest and open communication is essential for building strong, trusting connections.
3. Modeling Behavior for Children: As a mom, you play a crucial role in shaping your children’s understanding of healthy relationships. Breaking free from people-pleasing sets a powerful example of self-respect and assertiveness. For more tips on how to show up the way you want, download my free guide here.

Breaking People-Pleasing Habits

Let’s delve into additional strategies to break free from people-pleasing, ensuring holistic well-being and healthier relationships:

1. Mindful Self-Compassion: Cultivate self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness you offer others. Recognize that it’s okay to prioritize your needs without guilt.
2. Seek Support: Connect with other moms who might be experiencing similar challenges. A supportive community can provide understanding, encouragement, and valuable insights.
3. Professional Guidance: Consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional or coach specializing in relational dynamics. Their expertise can offer personalized strategies for your unique journey.

Conclusion

It is possible to stop from being a people pleaser and the rewards are tremendous. Breaking free from people-pleasing is a holistic transformation – impacting your health, relationships, and overall well-being. By prioritizing self-care and embracing authentic communication, you not only enhance your own life but also create a positive ripple effect in your family dynamics. Here’s to reclaiming your authenticity and developing a beautiful life not just for, but with your family.