The Theory of Setting Goals: We’re getting it all wrong

We’ve all heard it before: “Setting goals is the only way to get what you want.” Or “Set SMART goals, and you’ll achieve anything you want.” Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. This well-worn formula has become the gold standard in goal setting, embraced by individuals, organizations, and life coaches alike. But what if I told you that SMART goals, and the way we approach setting goals in general, might be getting it all wrong?

It’s not that setting goals is a bad thing. Far from it. So why did a survey by Inside Out Mastery find that only 9% of people successfully keep their New Year’s resolutions, while 23% quit by the end of the first week, and 64% give up within the first month? I believe that it’s because the traditional approach to goal-setting often doesn’t account for the complexity of life itself. Our goals don’t exist in isolation; they are interconnected, and achieving one goal shouldn’t come at the expense of neglecting another. That’s where the theory of setting goals takes on a more holistic approach. An approach that encourages balance across different areas of our lives and allows us to align our energy and effort in a sustainable way.

Why We’re Getting Goals Wrong

For decades, we’ve been taught that if we set clear, measurable goals with deadlines, we’ll succeed. The problem is, this approach tends to oversimplify the process and doesn’t necessarily lead to the life we desire. We focus on what’s measurable and time-bound, but not necessarily on what’s meaningful or sustainable. A rigid focus on setting goals related to work, for example, may lead to burnout, while ignoring personal growth or health goals can eventually lead to dissatisfaction or regret.

We forget that our lives are multidimensional. Setting goals across various aspects of life – not just one narrow area – gives us the opportunity to harmonize our actions, create a sense of wholeness, and allow us to feel fulfilled in every area. When we focus only on the SMART goals in one domain, say, work or finances, we risk tipping the scales of our overall well-being.

Setting Goals Theory: A New Approach

The theory of setting goals isn’t about abandoning SMART goals; rather, it’s about expanding the framework. Setting goals theory encourages us to look at our entire lives and consider how each area impacts our overall well-being. We need to set goals that are just as meaningful as they are achievable, and we need to ensure they support one another rather than conflict.

Imagine a life where your goals aren’t competing for your attention and energy, but rather working together to propel you forward. For example, if you set an ambitious goal in your business/career but neglect your health, you might find yourself burned out. Or if you’re solely focused on financial success, your relationships with family and friends may begin to deteriorate. This is where the theory of setting goals across multiple dimensions comes into play.

A Holistic View of Goal-Setting

We need to be strategic about balancing energy and effort when setting goals. Instead of focusing on just one area, consider how your goals fit together. Here’s a breakdown of eight key areas where you should consider setting goals:

1. Work Goals Work goals are often at the forefront of most people’s minds, but they don’t have to consume every waking hour. Setting goals in the work domain might involve improving your skills, gaining promotions, or taking on more responsibility. However, achieving these goals should not come at the cost of your health or relationships.
2. Personal Growth Goals Personal growth goals might involve learning new skills, developing emotional intelligence, or simply becoming a better version of yourself. These goals are integral to your long-term success in life, but they require intentional effort. They are often the most fulfilling but require space and time to nurture, so they must be aligned with other life areas.
3. Health Goals Your health is the foundation that supports every other goal you set. Health goals can range from fitness to nutrition, sleep, and mental well-being. These goals should complement your work and personal growth goals by ensuring that your physical and mental energy are optimized to perform at your best.
4. Business/Career Goals Your business and career goals may overlap with your work goals but have their own distinct role. Business goals can include building a brand, expanding a network, or diversifying investments. However, be cautious not to let business and career goals overshadow other priorities in your life.
5. Finances Goals Financial goals are crucial for securing your future and achieving independence. Setting goals around saving, investing, and managing debt ensures that your financial future is on track. However, financial success shouldn’t come at the expense of happiness or other life goals.
6. Family and Friends Goals Family and friendships are often overlooked when setting goals, but they should be prioritized to ensure a balanced and fulfilled life. Nurturing relationships with loved ones requires intention. Setting goals to spend quality time with family and friends can help prevent isolation and burnout, ensuring that you remain connected to the people who matter most.
7. Community Goals Community engagement can be one of the most fulfilling areas of your life. Whether it’s through volunteering, participating in local events, or simply connecting with others, community goals contribute to a sense of purpose. These goals help us contribute beyond ourselves, fostering a sense of belonging and connectedness.
8. Fun and Recreation Goals Don’t forget to set goals for fun and recreation. It’s easy to get so caught up in the serious aspects of life that we forget to enjoy ourselves. Whether it’s traveling, trying new hobbies, or simply taking time to relax, recreational goals allow us to rejuvenate and find joy in life.

Not sure where to start? Check out my free guide to the 7 Essential Traits of High Achievers for some ideas.

Using Setting Goals Theory to Balance Your Life

Now that we understand the different areas where we can set goals, how do we ensure that they balance and complement one another? The key is to avoid getting hyper-focused on one area to the detriment of the others.

1. Create Goals in Each Area
   Start by listing goals for each of the eight key areas. Don’t just focus on work or finances; consider health, relationships, and personal growth too. If you feel overwhelmed, remember: goals don’t need to be grandiose or complicated. Break them down into manageable, bite-sized pieces.
2. Prioritize and Align Goals
   Once you have goals for each area, prioritize them. Which goals need immediate attention, and which ones can be nurtured over time? Try to not to have more than five active goals at one time so that each gets the attention they need. Ensure that your goals align across all areas. For instance, if you have a health goal to exercise regularly, it should complement your work goal of improving productivity. Healthy habits can boost your focus and energy levels, which in turn will help you achieve other goals. And don’t forget that you may need to stop doing things that are already in your calendar to make room for the new version of your life that you want to create.
3. Monitor Your Progress
   Regularly review your goals to see how they’re progressing and assess whether your energy is being spread too thin. If you’re neglecting certain goals, reassess how you can redistribute your efforts. This might mean adjusting deadlines, breaking larger goals into smaller milestones, or even revising your overall approach.
4. Be Flexible
   Life is unpredictable. If an unexpected opportunity or challenge arises, be flexible with your goals. Setting goals theory encourages adaptability, so be open to revising your goals based on what’s happening in your life. The key is to remain focused on balance and alignment rather than rigid adherence to a plan.
5. Celebrate Milestones and Adjust
   When you achieve a goal, take time to celebrate. This doesn’t mean you should rest on your laurels, but acknowledging your progress gives you a sense of accomplishment and motivation to continue. Adjust your next set of goals accordingly, and continue to aim for balance.

Conclusion: The Power of a Holistic Approach to Goal Setting

The theory of setting goals isn’t about getting it “right” in the traditional sense. It’s about creating a life that works for you. A life where your goals across all areas are aligned and working together to propel you forward. By balancing your energy and effort across work, health, personal growth, and all the other key areas, you can achieve a deeper sense of fulfillment and well-being.

In the end, goal setting is not a one-size-fits-all approach. It’s about finding harmony and making intentional choices that support the life you want to live. Instead of getting caught up in the typical goal-setting frameworks, challenge yourself to think about your goals from a holistic perspective. Your life is complex and interconnected. Your goals should be, too.

So, the next time you set goals, consider the bigger picture. What’s the point of reaching one milestone if you’re sacrificing your health, relationships, or happiness in the process? Let’s stop getting it all wrong and start setting goals that truly support the life we want to live.