Parenting Styles: A New Perspective

Balancing Control and Flexibility in Parenting

Different parenting styles seem to come and go. You have the experiences from your own upbringing where you sift through the good and the bad as a starting point. Then hear about the latest research, which unfortunately, often comes after you’re already in the thick of it. Ideally I think what we all want is a parenting guide that explains play-by-play how to parent MY kid. (Wouldn’t that be nice!) But since we don’t have that, the key is to figure out how to balance control and flexibility in parenting.

I know that’s way easier said than done. Our kids need us so much when they’re little and that need morphs as they grow into teens. They still need us just as much, but not to feed them or tie their shoes. The need goes from physical to emotional. They need us to set the example, be there when they fall and love them even when they do some pretty stupid things. What teens want most is to know that you trust them to make the mistakes they need to be a high functioning adult. And as parents, it’s hard to let them.

Teenagers and Employees

When we can talk to our teens as we would a friend or other adult and show them the same respect, they are more likely to listen to our guidance. As a former corporate leader I thought comparing your teen to a new employee or co-worker may help with perspective. Empowering teens and new employees share common threads of guiding growth, fostering independence, and striking a balance between support and autonomy. Just as parents navigate the complexities of raising teens through various stages of development, employers play a crucial role in nurturing the professional growth of their new hires and colleagues. Let’s delve deeper into these parallels, and exploring how similar strategies can be applied to both scenarios, whatever parenting styles you use.

Parenting through Developmental Stages

Managers and colleagues recognize that new employees undergo stages of adjustment and growth as they acclimate to their roles and the company culture, much like parents tailor their guidance to their teen’s developmental stage. Successful employers provide support and resources to empower new employees to succeed. Research by Gallup indicating that employees who feel supported during their onboarding process are 3.4 times more likely to be engaged in their work.

Similarly, when parents of teens understand the unique challenges and milestones of each stage of adolescence, they can adapt their approach to meet their teen’s evolving needs. This requires letting go and allowing your child to feel some pain, but it’s better they learn those lessons now rather than when the stakes are higher.

Parenting Guidance and Support

Employers play a vital role in guiding and supporting new employees as they learn the ropes. Effective parenting involves providing guidance and support while allowing teens the freedom to learn from their experiences. This includes providing mentorship, clarifying expectations, and offering constructive feedback to help new hires grow professionally. According to a survey by the Society for Human Resource Management, 92% of employees believe that receiving constructive feedback is essential for their professional development.

When parents offer strategies, set boundaries, and serve as a source of encouragement their teens are better equipped to navigate challenges and make decisions. If your new hire ran into an obstacle, you wouldn’t jump in and solve the problem for them, but give them resources and tools so they could solve it themselves. You know the knowledge they gain will be beneficial as they grow in their position. The same goes for our teens growing into contributing adults. As much as they might want you to solve their problems for them, your teen will grow in skills and confidence when you allow them to address their own challenges, with your support.

Balancing Control and Autonomy

Employers empower new employees by providing them with the freedom to take ownership of their work and make decisions within their roles. As parents it can be difficult to strike a balance between exerting control over your teens’ life and allowing them the autonomy to make choices and learn from their mistakes. But with both managerial and parenting styles, striking a balance between guidance and autonomy creates an environment where they feel empowered to contribute their unique skills and ideas.

This balance fosters independence while ensuring that both employees and teens have the support they need to thrive. Research published in the Journal of Family Psychology suggests that adolescents raised in environments with appropriate levels of autonomy and support exhibit higher levels of academic and emotional well-being.

Parenting in a Supportive Environment

In both the workplace and at home, creating a supportive environment is essential for enabling growth and well-being. This includes fostering open communication, creating opportunities for collaboration, and cultivating a culture of feedback and continuous learning. A study by the Corporate Leadership Council found that employees who feel supported by their colleagues and managers are more likely to stay with their organization and perform at a higher level.

Similarly, creating a supportive environment at home is essential for fostering healthy communication and trust between parents and teens. Parents can cultivate this by encouraging open dialogue, listening to their teens’ concerns without being judgmental or defensive, and provide a safe space for them to express themselves. According to research from the University of Minnesota, teens who feel supported by their parents are more likely to exhibit positive psychosocial outcomes, including lower levels of stress and depression. Even if you’ve adoptive a more hands off parenting style, ensuring your teen knows you love and support them is critical for their emotional health.

Investing in Growth and Development

Both parents and employers recognize the significance of investing in the growth and development of their charges. Parents invest time and effort in their teen’s growth and development, whether it’s through extracurricular activities, academic support, or emotional guidance, acknowledging the importance of nurturing their teen’s talents and interests to help them reach their full potential. Research by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development supports this, showing that parental involvement in adolescents’ activities is positively associated with academic achievement and social competence.

Similarly, employers invest in the growth and development of their employees through training programs, professional development opportunities, and career advancement initiatives. By investing in their employees’ growth, employers not only empower them to succeed in their current roles but also prepare them for future opportunities within the organization. A survey by LinkedIn found that 94% of employees would stay at a company longer if it invested in their career development, highlighting the importance of such investment in fostering loyalty and commitment among employees. Think about how that translates to your relationship with your teen.

Conclusion

Parenting styles vary across every family and that’s ok. You do what works to enable healthy, happy family dynamics. And I’m not suggesting that you treat your teens as employees, but consider the similarities in what those two groups need to thrive. Parenting teens and empowering new employees require a delicate balance of guidance, support, and autonomy. By drawing parallels between these two scenarios and incorporating effective strategies, you can create nurturing environments that foster growth and independence in both personal and professional settings. Whether guiding a teen through the ups and downs of adolescence or empowering a new employee to thrive in their role, the key lies in providing the right balance of support, autonomy, and encouragement.

Leveraging various parenting styles, parenting classes, or parenting guides, as well as professional development programs and supportive workplace cultures, we can create environments where both teens and employees can thrive and succeed.

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