A More Fulfilling Life

What does it mean to have a fulfilling life? I hear people talking about having a more fulfilling life, so knowing what a fulfilling life actually looks and feels like is important. I think people often confuse fulfillment with being happy. Happiness plays into fulfillment, but let’s start with the definition of Fulfilling.

Fulfilling: <adj> satisfying or rewarding, especially by meeting the emotional need for meaning, challenge, growth, success, etc.

Based on this definition, I see fulfillment being about service, learning – which includes failure – and overcoming obstacles. It’s also about minimizing regrets and being satisfied with where you are and what you’ve accomplished. It doesn’t mean you’ve stopped growing and taking on new challenges, but that you have acknowledged the effort and are content with how you are showing up for those challenges and with who you are right now. 

I just got back from a cruise in the Baltic Sea and one of the onboard enrichment activities was about why the Nordic countries consistently rate at the top of the annual World Happiness Report. The US ranks 23rd, by the way. It was very interesting, especially considering the daylight swings that far north and the climate. They get only 3-5 hours of sunlight in the winter and it gets very cold there. I wanted to share some of my takeaways from that talk and how it aligns with the concept of fulfillment.

Happiness and Nordic Life

Many outsiders see the high tax rates and socialist tendencies in the Nordic nations as a negative thing. I was in that camp until I understood it better and met the incredibly happy people there. Let’s take Norway as the example. 

Norway’s tax rates range from 36% to 80%. Salaries in Norway are higher than in many countries with full transparency across employees. In other words, you know what your peers, your boss, and the king are making. Additionally, the government also provides significant benefits to their people in exchange for the taxes. 

• Parental leave is provided for up to 27 months for the primary caregiver and for 12 months for the other parent. You can also receive a grant of just over $9,000USD per child.  
• University tuition for a bachelors degree, masters degree, and a PhD is covered for all public institutions. This not only makes higher education more accessible, but reduces the debt burden for its citizens. 
• Healthcare is based on universal access, decentralization and free choice of provider.
• Additionally, Norwegians have freedom of choice in many areas.

This isn’t a political post, I promise. So what does it have to do with Fulfillment?

Being content

The core message in the Norwegian and other Nordic cultures is one of equality. Everyone is treated with the same respect and given the same opportunities regardless of background. It’s about creating a high functioning culture where everyone feels taken care of. Fun fact: most citizens in Norway own a 2nd home.

So let’s get back to fulfillment and talk about it in the context of Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a theory in psychology consisting of a five-tier model of human needs. Those needs, in ascending order, are: physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem, and self-actualization. Lower level needs such as food, water, and safety must be met before the higher levels can be attained. It makes sense that if you don’t know where your next meal is coming from or are seriously ill, fulfillment or self-actualization are not at the forefront. 

Now let’s look at the Norwegian example again. The significant welfare state, as it’s called, addresses many of the lower level needs. Norwegians feel safe and taken care of. Family connection is prioritized and healthcare isn’t a concern. The idea of equality brings about more homogeneity and connection across the citizens, increasing their perception of belonging. This sense of equality increases esteem and feelings of being enough.

The people of Norway have the basics that allow them to focus on service to one another over greed for themselves, are encouraged to learn, and feel safe enough to take risks. The Norwegians can live a life of choice reducing regrets because they are not in a constant state of worry for themselves and for their families. They are a content people. They have enough and are satisfied with it.

Creating a More Fulfilling Life

What does this all mean for you in your pursuit of fulfillment? First, stop comparing yourself to others or others to you. This constant need for approval, feeling good enough or better than others impacts our cultural cohesion and esteem. Appreciate the challenges and the victories. Growth is not possible without failure. The previous lessons and starting points are not identical. Stop pretending that they are.

Next, work less. I know it’s not as simple as that, but rethink how you work – at home and as a career – and what the have-tos really are. Allow for more connection with family and friends. Let them know that you see them and allow them to reciprocate. There is no such thing as a perfect life (unless you live in Norway :-)) so stop trying to make it perfect for yourself and for others. This only creates more work and can cause frustration and resentment. Be satisfied with being present in your connections and with who is in your life. My free guide on the 7 Essential Traits of High Achieving Women may help with this.

Look at life’s challenges as your next opportunity for fulfillment. While it might be difficult to see the positive aspect of a situation at the time, each obstacle is an opportunity for growth. Any opportunity for success. What can you learn? Who do you need to become? How do you need to show up? Step up and be that person. A more fulfilling life is on the other side.