The Fear of Being Judged

Have you ever had the fear of being judged? That your values or how you parent aren’t acceptable to others? And while you’re doing the best you can, comparison is just eating you up? The good news – and the bad news – is that all moms feel this way. Judgment usually comes from an insecurity in ourselves so it makes sense that we’ve all done it to some degree. And then there are the experts who make us feel like we just aren’t cutting it, which is usually worse. But how can you keep it from impacting you?

This used to eat me up. As the stable bread winner in my family, I was very insecure in times were I had to prioritize work over family. I felt the need to show up as if I had it all together because other Moms seemed to. This overthinking often lead to the need to control everything which then led to overwhelm and resentment. With some effort and intention, I got our from under this and learned some very important lessons that I’ll share with you today.

Fear of being judged on different journeys

The first thing to remember is that no one on this planet has traveled the same journey that you have and no one else is living your life. No one knows what it’s like to be you just as much as you don’t know what it’s like to be anyone else. So when someone judges you, they are making a lot of assumptions. Assumptions that align your situation with theirs.

Have you ever had someone come up to you with unsolicited advice? Just the other day someone came up to me at the gym and started telling me how I should be working out. I had never seen them before so they had no idea what my workout goals were, what injuries I might be working with or whether I was open to any advice. They assumed that all of those things were in line with them. It was hard not to get snippy with them for barging into my zone, but I used it to push myself a little harder. Thank you random, know-it-all gym rat. 🙂

Instead of feeling judged consider these three ideas:

Embrace authenticity

It’s time to let go of the idea that you need to be perfect. Every Mom has her unique journey, challenges, and imperfections. Embrace those. They are working for you (most of the time!). Show up living your authentic life. When you allow yourself to be genuine and vulnerable, you create a space for real connections with other Moms who are going through similar experiences.

Authenticity means sharing your struggles and triumphs, your messy moments, and your shining ones. It’s about embracing your imperfections and understanding that they make you beautifully human. When you’re in and surrounded by authenticity, the judgment drops way down. The judgment of yourself and others because everyone becomes empathetic and relatable.

If you don’t have a circle you can trust, consider joining a support group, whether in person or online, where you can share your experiences and receive support.

Love yourself

Showing up loving yourself is not only about self-care routines but also about self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. When you love yourself, you become more resilient to the fear of being judged by others because you know your worth.

As I stated above, no one else has been on your journey. Only you know what you’ve been through, what you’ve overcome and what you’re going through now. Love yourself for your perseverance and your growth. Love yourself for showing up. Give yourself grace and love yourself for that.

Mind your thoughts

What matters most is what you think about you. External judgments only hold power if you let them. Your self-perception is your greatest asset in conquering the fear of being judged by others. If you believe in your abilities and your choices, you become less affected by external opinions. It’s about trusting your decisions as a Mom and knowing that you’re doing your best. Challenge negative thoughts that contribute to the fear of being judged by others. Replace them with affirmations that boost your self-esteem and self-worth.

Conclusion

You don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, and you certainly don’t need to pretend that you have it all together. The fear of being judged by others is a common concern, but it’s a fear you can conquer.

Prioritize authenticity in your life, show up loving yourself, and remember that what matters most is what you think about you. By embracing these principles, you can enjoy the journey of motherhood without constantly worrying about external judgments. Checkout my free guide on the 7 Essential Traits of High Achieving Women for more insight.

So, go out there and be the amazing Mom you are, fearlessly, authentically, and with all the self-love you deserve. Your unique journey is something to be proud of, and it’s not about having it all together; it’s about being real and embracing the beautiful chaos of motherhood.