Empty nest syndrome refers to the mix of emotions many parents feel when their children move out. It can bring loneliness, sadness, anxiety, and a loss of purpose, especially for those who have been the primary caregivers. As someone who’s almost an empty nester, I understand the terror and excitement that come with it. Watching friends navigate this transition has shown me that everyone responds differently.
For some, it’s hard to get excited about their kids leaving home. For others, it’s a chance to reclaim their own lives. Most of us fall somewhere in between. I’m on the verge of a major life change as my boys leave the nest, and my feelings are definitely mixed.
Today, I want to share my perspective on empty nest syndrome and letting go. Even if your kids are still at home, their growing independence offers you a taste of the freedom to come. You get to decide how to use this newfound time, rather than filling it with distractions to avoid feeling their absence. My hope is that this post inspires you to use your time and freedom to start working on yourself and your next adventure.
Redefining Empty Nest Syndrome
Transitioning to an empty nest can be transformative and exciting. After spending 18-25 years raising your kids, it’s time to think back to the freedom and flexibility you had before they came along. Remember how you once declared that kids would never change your lifestyle? Funny how life turns out!
When your kids are gone, you will miss them. I remember the day my oldest son left for college and the sadness that hit me. It was unexpected and disorienting. But his absence, despite his previous independence, freed up space for me. One less person to plan for, coordinate with, and support. A little sad, but also liberating.
My youngest leaves for college in August, and we’re making a big leap to move abroad. We’re using this transition to start our dream, setting our course for the next chapter. Empty nesting can be a time of renewal and joy if you’re ready to embrace it.
Studies show that empty nesters often navigate the transition by focusing on the positive aspects, such as reduced conflicts between work and family responsibilities, and the opportunity to enhance marital relationships and personal interests. Planning ahead and staying busy with new challenges can ease the sense of loss.
Their Independence is your Gain
As our kids become more independent, our first reaction is often to pull them back. We might pry into their activities and make them feel guilty for seeking independence. This can be hard for a mom, but it’s also an opportunity to revisit your own dreams. Your child still needs you, just in a different way.
Their growing independence means more free time for you, fewer daily responsibilities, and fewer constraints on your personal time. This creates the space for you to rediscover yourself and explore who you are now, beyond being a parent.
Embracing Your Next Chapter
What’s your next step? Start by reflecting on personal goals, dreams, or hobbies you might have postponed. Have you always wanted to open a coffee shop, live in a different country, take up backpacking, or go back to school? Brainstorm a list of things that excite you and write them down. They might also scare you, but that’s okay. I love helping women create their vision! If you want some guidance, reach out!
With your list in hand, prioritize and discuss your ideas with someone you trust. This could be your partner, a good friend, or a sibling. Identify the right next step. It doesn’t have to be huge. At this stage, you are gathering more information and in discovery mode, allowing you to plan confidently without feeling guilty or lost.
Preparing for an Empty Nest
When you’re ready to take a step, connect with individuals who have done what you want to do or who share similar interests. Forming an accountability relationship keeps you focused and excited about the future.
No matter your vision, take gradual steps. This lets you try each step on and adjust. Don’t wait until your kids are out of the house to start focusing on you. Give yourself time to experience each action and respond to how it makes you feel. This is an exciting time of exploration and growth. Embrace it, but don’t rush it.
This is also a great time to reconnect with your partner, if you have one, or to start dating again. If you don’t have any shared hobbies, try a new one together or teach each other a hobby you love. It’s a great way to rediscover your love for each other before you’re alone again.
Conclusion
An empty nest can be scary for some and exciting for others. Don’t wait to write your next chapter. Use your teen’s independence to rediscover yourself and map out your path ahead. An empty nest gives you a fresh start, a new beginning. You are the author of your next chapter. Embrace it as a liberating, enriching experience that brings rewards for you and your loved ones.
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I’ve been coaching people to be their best for over twenty years and love seeing them thrive as they adjust the lens they’re looking through. As a mom of teengaers, I realized that I could use my talent to help moms feel less frustrated, isolated and defeated as their kids navigate the challenging teen years. Helping my clients improve their relationship with themselves and honor their needs is my superpower. You’ll love how your energy shifts and your interactions become more positive after working together! I’m excited for you to experience more peace and confidence and live the life you’re meant to live.
